Throwback Tech: The Wheel

Our great ancestors discovered something very important once they found out that opposable thumbs existed, carrying things suck! At first they must of been happy to use their children as beasts of burden, however given their small size, the fact that they often grew up somewhat resentful and the invention of all those pesky child labor laws, early humanity was forced to find another way to carry all of the sticks, rocks, clothes, and couches they had previously invented. However the road to the wheel was anything but smooth.

At first it is believed that early humanity decided that the couch was a good place to put things (just ask any child asked to clean the living room floor), and that once the couch had been loaded it was a simple matter of dragging the thing around. However after the first several thousand thrown backs and ruptured disk’s (after all those dang fully loaded couches can be heavy) our ancestors said enough of that. So putting their early frontal lobes together they came up with a new idea. The plank and rope. This was sure to be an excellent idea, simply put a flat piece of wood on the ground attach a rope to the plank, tie the rope to your oldest (but not full grown) child and let them pull all of your possessions around. However despite the obvious benefits of keeping everything in one place, the immortal phrase “are we there yet” was born and those wise ancestors of ours declared this a failure.

Then by chance George was walking down a hill one day and happened to step on a loose rock. Well before he knew what was happening George was flying down the hill while trying to stay on top of the rolling rock. However George did not see the full potential of this discovery and simply joined a nearby circus with his new found talent. Yet it was Sam watching George who thought to himself, if George can get around so well on one rock, what would happen if I used more the one rock at a time? Thus was born the first wheel.

Since the time of George and Sam the wheel has seen many design changes and improvements, however we must never forget those early ancestors who had the wisdom to harness the power of a rolling rock……